Basement Medicine

Doctor Yes

Doctor Yes

Richard Schlong, Private Eye

November 14, 2013


Filed under Life in Orbit

  "Rather enjoyed the John Gardner thrillers... he has a very sophisticated style, yes, I like that... rather like Agatha Christie doing 007, ‘ey, old chap?” As I struggled to open my eyes, I could make out a faint but familiar form: a plump Englishman. Kaufman. He was smiling. ...

The Cold Shrink

The Cold Shrink

Richard Schlong

November 10, 2013


Filed under Life in Orbit

I had a toothache from my molar to my cerebellum. What I mean is the sheer thought of teeth was the same kind of infuriating ache I got when I remembered those lovely, happy girls I didn’t date in high school, or that reduced-price drink I passed up at the bar. I didn’t want to hear about teeth....

The Bitter Toothache

The Bitter Toothache

Richard Schlong, Private Detective

September 25, 2013


Filed under Life in Orbit

As a private dick I’ve had to look into a lot of unpleasant things, but one thing I’ve never gotten sick of looking into is open mouths. So it was a pleasant surprise when my degree in dentistry finally came in the mail. It came in a manilla 8x10 envelope. First I thought it was those photographs...

The Lost Girl

The Lost Girl

Richard Schlong

September 11, 2013


Filed under Life in Orbit

I stopped wondering how normal people celebrate their birthday when I stopped believing there were normal people. It came late, long after I’d stopped believing there was a Tooth Fairy. Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Normal People. My birthday’s not a celebration. That’ll be my funeral. My b...

Melvis, the Backwoods King

Melvis, the Backwoods King

Tom Benton

May 3, 2013


Filed under Life in Orbit

"You don’t have to saaaay you love me/Just be close at haaand/You don’t have to staaaaay forever/I will understaaand." The singer is a fifty-something guy with a t-shirt that shows off his beer gut, which he happily slaps -- he’s aware of it -- and which gives no indication of his pipes, which ar...

Full of Crêpe

Full of Crêpe

Samuel Bridges

April 18, 2013


Filed under Life in Orbit

  It seems every time I visit Church Street there’s something new that catches my eye, or the store I’m looking for has moved, at the least. Burlington never disappoints. It was a nippy, but not unbearable Thursday afternoon. I noticed a rather unassuming "Mr. Crepe" sign. The restaurant was heav...

Sticky, sweet and rewarding: maple sugaring at home

Kassandra Cousineau

April 18, 2013


Filed under Life in Orbit

Are you tired of paying $50 for a gallon of maple syrup? Do you want to know where your food products are coming from? Want to be environmentally friendly and keep a few extra Benjamins in your pocket while you're at it? At Vermont Harvest Sun, in rural Bristol, Vermont, Jacob Roy has found a way to ...

Carrie Cook loses her Samurai but finds a new bass

Carrie Cook loses her Samurai but finds a new bass

Elizabeth Beatty-Owens

April 18, 2013


Filed under Life in Orbit

The restaurant was filled with bodies. The employees were dragging tables and chairs out from the front of the bar, attempting to make a little more standing room for the people who were packed in along the bar stools. Feet were tapping, many seated hips were wiggling, and even a few brave souls took ...

How High is Denver, Really?

How High is Denver, Really?

Phil O'Neil

April 18, 2013


Filed under Life in Orbit

"Take everything out of your pockets and hold your hands in the air." It doesn’t sound like the start of a promising night for concertgoers heading into the 1st Bank Arena outside Denver, Colorado, but another look around yields a surprising discovery. Most people carry keys and wallets in their pocket...

Springfield: Vt.’s seventh circle

Springfield: Vt.’s seventh circle

Thomas Benton

March 28, 2013


Filed under Life in Orbit

Here’s the scene: There’s a body on the side of the road in southern Vermont. Maybe alive, maybe dead, but no one cares. They just drive on past, and if they take their eyes off the road to glance in the rearview or, god forbid, over their shoulders, they keep their feet on the gas pedal. I was...

The Dame in the Diner Dream

The Dame in the Diner Dream

Richard Schlong

March 28, 2013


Filed under Life in Orbit

The New Mexican mountains had all the jagged curvatures of a lie-detector test, and in the sunset on the other side I saw truth. Time to stop slacking in Sante Fe, put on my slacks and head back to the city that never sleeps. On the way there, I slept. I dreamed in a hotel room that had never heard...

Dan and Clint: a friendship begining

Dan and Clint: a friendship begining

Dan Schwartz

March 28, 2013


Filed under Life in Orbit

I was going to tell you about my sex life, but that’s not much of a story anymore. Then I got 1,800 words into an essay about crippling depression, but we’ll save that for later; that’s not first date material. Yesterday I whittled away a 600-word nugget about a backpacking trip to the northeast...

The student-run community news site of Northern Vermont University- Johnson
Life in Orbit