SGA welcomes clubs, will host beer goggles obstacle course

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Courtesy of the Beer Museum

With the first couple weeks of the new school year behind us, it’s almost time for clubs to start recruitment again. SGA is proud to announce that it’s the perfect time to get out there and become engaged in your campus community.

We are excited to see many clubs returning, providing a wide variety of activities for students to participate in. Whether you’re a bookworm, an athlete, or a knight in chainmail, there is more than likely a club for you. Just stop by our office to learn more about them! We have many returning members of the SGA, as well as some brand new staff members! I personally believe that a bow staff is a cooler type of staff, but I wasn’t allowed to have one on campus. I think there are some people running a staff training on campus though, if you’re interested…

There will also be occasions where we sit in the dorm lobbies and make a sad face at you so that you’ll come over and talk to us about events that we’re putting on, and try to get you to join us. We often bribe you with cookies or some other sweet treat, in exchange for a moment of your time. I don’t think I’m supposed to tell you this, but I’ll typically let you take a cookie regardless, unless you’re mean and make me cry. In that case, no cookies for you.

Anyway, I suppose you may be interested in hearing about some of the things that we’re planning on doing this year! (If not, feel free to ignore the majority of the remainder of this article. Also, since at least one of you reading this probably dislikes math, recall that the word “remainder” also refers to a fraction of a whole number that does not divide another number evenly). On October 22, we will have our annual beer goggle obstacle course on the quad!

The obstacle course is one of my personal favorites. With varying degrees of severity, this is your chance to pretend to do what many of us already joke about doing every night. (Because there aren’t any actual parties on campus, right? We’re all on the same page there.) So come on out and try to complete our beer goggle obstacle course! I don’t know how many of you have ever seen, or been, a one-legged gorilla trying to cross a tight-rope while juggling cantaloupes, but this isn’t too different. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find a gorilla, much less a one-legged gorilla, who was willing to sponsor such an event, so we just have to settle for this incredible simulation.

As many of you know, we also have movie nights every Monday and Saturday of the week! Some of the upcoming movies this year are Toy Story 4, MIB, Hobbs and Shaw, Spiderman – Far from Home, and many more! Stick around for both after-credit scenes. I worked in a movie theater this summer, and Spiderman got spoiled for me, so don’t miss it like I did. But if you’re like me, and worked most of the summer so that you didn’t have time to spend the money that you earned, come see it here for free. Put that $50 activity fee to good use, and get engaged in your on-campus community.

Also, help support your peers by checking out a new club, or even just take a look at some of the posters, which are in such high density that I’m not sure if there are even walls in some of the buildings. Now, my work here is done, and I must depart from the solitude of an HP desktop. As always, go forth and spread love like hot butter.