SGA goes D&D

My dear comrades…

Day 17 has passed. We have nearly run out of rations as we continue to ride onwards, far from the office we call home. Many loved ones have we left behind, but we must venture further towards our destiny: a journey back in time, so to speak.

I and the rest of the SGA have risen our swords high, with great might, questing to preserve the ruins of SGA’s past.

Long ago, you see, there were four SGAs, each protected by a golem which beared the insignia of their respective SGA, declaring them the guardians of the constitutions. There was peace, and there was harmony, until the flatlander nation attacked. We called upon the mountains, but the mountains did not hear us.

We called upon the lakes, yet the lakes remained still. The lakes asked for guidance from the deep, deep underground, but even the underground felt it was futile to resist. The flatlanders were here, and they would not leave without a fight.

Now, you may be wondering, “Robert, you were once a flatlander yourself, correct? How have you become so distraught by your people expanding their territory. More importantly, how do we know we can trust you not to join them?”

Well then, I say to you, do not judge a man by his past, but by his ability to adapt and change as he gains wisdom. While native to the far away land known as “MaSsAcHuSeTtS,” my journeys have brought me here, to the foreign nation of Vermont.

Now I fight alongside the trees, as a noble knight of the Northeast Kingdom.

I so loved the Kingdom that I decided to join this quest to defeat the flatlanders, those who I once called my allies. I will not rest until I have neglected my turn signal at every traffic light, gotten someone else’s order at Dunkin Donuts, and partially deflated every football in all of New England. Let this be a message to all flatlanders; heed my warning, for I will dump barrels upon barrels of tea into the harbor faster than you can cut me off in traffic, righteously exclaiming, “Eyy, who da fakk gave you a fakkin licence, kid?!”

Okay, maybe not that far… My love for tea exceeds the bond I have made with the other knights of the SGA. Regardless, the blessing of our golem rains down upon us like the dewfall, as he overhand points at us, free CBD products and student loan forgiveness pouring from his older, but kind hands.
For we are a community of mountaineers, made up of former flatlanders, native mountaineers, and all in between.

We are the NVU- Johnson Student Government Association, and we promise nothing but an exciting, engaging, enthusiastic, and *insert some other positive word that begins with the letter e* year for all students.

Until we meet again, may the good winds at your back always be your own.

Sir Robert “7W” Ferullo