Joe Biden finally did the thing! Up to $10,000 of federal student loans are being forgiven for individuals who earn $125,000 or less. That number jumps to up to $20,000 for those who have received a Pell Grant. Alas, the students of NVU, upon realizing that a college education guarantees nothing with the exception of thousands of dollars in loan debt, will be able to afford a self-help book that promises to unlock their inner real-estate and early-retirement tiger. But how does it all work? Well, like anything that the government offers to provide average Americans, from roadwork to healthcare, this is a confusing mess that will take months to sort out.

Northern Vermont University’s Interim Director of Financial Aid, Kimberly Goodell, says that NVU doesn’t have any more information than the students have regarding the nuances of this unprecedented loan forgiveness from the White House.  “We don’t know a whole lot yet either,” Goodell said, “If you go to the Northern Vermont University website and go under the Financial Aid section, we have an announcement out there it was called debt relief announcement 2022.” Here is where NVU will be posting updates as the federal government wheels them out for the begging masses of Americans who are wondering just how large their personal debt cloud will be and how long they will be forced to live in its shadow, forever wet in the unending blood-rain of the tortured poor who came before them.

Goodell added that students can, and should, go to the aforementioned webpage and subscribe to receive updates on any developments that come about during this phase between announcement and implementation. She added, “Included in that link are questions and answers about the loan debt relief and the forgiveness of your loans.”

In an article published by Yahoo Finance on Oct. 10, writer Vance Carlaga says, “Fortune recently reported that forgiveness will be pushed back until at least Oct. 17 because of one lawsuit from six state attorneys general alleging that President Joe Biden is overstepping his executive powers. But other media reports — including one last week from CNBC — say the application process could go live any day now.”

Update: Since writing this article, a beta version of the loan forgiveness application was released on studentaid.gov. It took me roughly 90 seconds to complete and all I needed was my social security number. User-friendly government programs? What’s next, affordable healthcare?

If a debtor’s income information is already on file, which is a category I suspect most active students of the university fall under, then there is a good chance no application will be necessary at all. Further good news for the stumbling nuisances who wander the Earth without trust funds or great tracts of land that their ancestors pillaged and retained, is that Joe “Our Bro” Biden continued the pandemic tradition of continuing the loan repayment pause until Dec. 31. The idea being that the Fed will have successfully managed this sweeping loan forgiveness in a near-unprecedented show of competence and understanding for the struggles of the mud-caked abominations who work sixty hours per week to take home a whopping $700, which is just enough to pay a third of their bills and provide a loaf of bread for the children they were forced to bear.

With all that in mind, ten to twenty thousand dollars is no small deal to America’s lower and middle class. One NVU-J student said, “Ten thousand bucks will allow me to start supporting my growing family from the day I graduate.”

Hopefully, the coming weeks will bring about the promised application for forgiveness along with more information that will bring the stinking heap of unworthy, welfare-crazed ‘citizens’ $10,000 closer to the billionaire class.