Naughty Nonna Knows All: advice to the perplexed

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Naughty Nonna Knows All: advice to the perplexed

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Dear Naughty Nonna,

 

Recently I met a really nice guy, and I think we’re going to do really well together, especially in bed. But, sometimes I still need a little me-time, and I’m afraid that Mr. Right is going to discover my secret relationship with Mr. Removable Showerhead. I have no idea how to bring this up tactfully, and I will not make compromises. As much as I love my new boyfriend, I also love my 45 minute Tuesday morning showers. Do I have to give one of them up?

 

Steamy, Hot and Bothered

 

Oh Steamy, don’t fear. The love affair with Mr. Removable Showerhead might be the easiest relationship you’ll ever have!! Mr. Right is right right now, but if he turns out to be Mr. Wrong, Mr. Showerhead will still be there to pick you up from your bootstraps. I firmly believe that our sex lives are much richer when we know how to derive pleasure from ourselves. One of the best parts of Mr. Showerhead also, is that if he turns out to be a defective model, you can return him with no fear of hysterical scenes, crying or shouting matches. As for telling him, eh I don’t see any pressing need to divulge your masturbatory schedule with him unless it begins to encroach on your time with Mr. Right. Maybe if it comes up in conversation you can mention it in passing, but for the most part I don’t see the need to ruin the thrill of your secret relationship.

 

 

Dear Naughty Nonna,

 

Ever since I have become sexually active I have not been able to climax with a partner. I have no problem when I am by myself, but it’s definitely not the same type of experience. Can you help? I also don’t climax though clitoral stimuli, but usually only vaginally. As a lesbian it has turned off some of my sexual partners in the past. Do you have any suggestions on how to make my nether region more sensitive or some other tricks to work into my sex life?

 

Signed,

Fear of Release

 

 

Dear Release,

 

Although this is two questions, they are seriously intertwined. Sexual satisfaction has both a physical and emotional component. Being able to climax with a partner is not always a given, and sometimes we need a little work to get to that place. A number of factors can inhibit one from achieving an orgasm with a partner. Granted, I’m assuming that it still feels good, but that you just can’t get from there to THERE. It does seem as though you can physically climax on your own, so I don’t see a medical problem from that standpoint. But, when you are with a partner, you cannot climax.

The first thing I need to tell you is: Relax. It sounds as though there is some stress around the fact that you want a partner to give you vaginal stimulation along with clitoral stimulation. Women come in many shapes and sizes, and each one has different sexual needs. The key to consistently achieving orgasm with a partner, is having someone who respects what you need from a sexual relationship and is willing to work with you to achieve the ultimate goal of orgasmic delight. In your lifetime, you will encounter many gay couples that have very defined sexual roles, but you will also encounter couples who are more fluid in their relationships.

Wanting vaginal stimulation doesn’t make you any less of a lesbian, it just gives your partner a different method to please you. Some lesbians take the stance that using a dildo or vibrator is trying to substitute for man sex, but it really isn’t. Using a toy to achieve climax during partner sex is not a bad thing, but if your lady is uncomfortable with that, she can use her hand to take the place of the toy internally. Some women need vaginal stimulation, some don’t. A lot of women enjoy a combination of both.

 

 

Dear Naughty Nonna,

 

I’m finally venturing back into the dating sphere, and every time I go on a first date I wear the same red thong. I don’t know why, it’s just lucky. Recently though, I lost it, and I have a date coming up with a really hot guy. What’s luckier—selecting a different thong, or going commando?

 

Easy and Breezy

 

Well, if you’re going on that many first dates, Easy, how lucky is your thong really? What is your definition of lucky? If your goal is for someone to see your thong, then I guess another color is in order. If you are planning on sleeping with this guy on the first date, hey, why bother with the thong? What I think is maybe you should put more thought into your choice of dates, and less into your undergarments.

 

 

 

Letters can be emailed to basementmedicine@gmail.com or dropped off at the office, WLLC327

 

This column is for entertainment only. Any advice, guidance, or other information that you receive is not a substitute for advice, programs, or treatment that you would normally receive from a licensed professional such as a doctor or psychiatrist. If you have immediate concerns, please seek help from the Campus Heath Center at 635-1265 or call your physician. JSC’s Women Center in Dewey Hall also has a list of available resources and information. They are open from 1-5, Monday through Thursday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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