“Identity Thief” will take your cash


Universal Pictures

Melissa McCarthy may not be able to escape this movie, but that doesn’t mean you can’t. Jason Bateman’s in the back, cheering on the idea of escape.

Universal Pictures

“Identity Thief” is the perfect movie to show you how to make a large amount of money in a short period of time. Although, who is to say that these techniques will be successful. I, for one, do not recommend that you try them.

If there is one good thing to be taken away from this movie, it is to never announce your social security number over the phone; although, I figure that it is common sense to most people.

“Identity Thief” starts out with an interesting plot and a good sense of humor; however, that quickly deteriorates after an uncomfortable sex scene that nobody on this earth should have to encounter. If only you could mute a movie theater.

Sandy Patterson, played by Jason Bateman, has his identity stolen by a woman named Diana, played by Melissa McCarthy. His reaction to the news that he has several felony charges, a large amount of debt and an extremely bad credit score, is rather calm, in fact too calm.

Bateman did a poor job portraying his role. I highly doubt that most people would become friends with the person that stole their identity.

Diana is a woman with unlimited funds and the desire to buy everything she fancies. With a house full of everything she wants, in fact multiples of everything, you would think she has everything she needs. Although it also seems highly unlikely that with access to abank account that never has to be paid off, that you would be living in a small condo in Florida and driving a Fiat! With all the cars to chose from, Universal chose a Fiat instead of an Audi R8.

However, Diana just doesn’t know when to stop and she begins to share her embezzled funds and used credit cards. Needless to say, things begin to catch up with her.

With a bounty hunter following her every move and an unhappy gang on her trail, she begins to seek comfort with the man whose identity she stole in hopes that he can rid her of the people chasing her by taking her from Florida to Colorado, once again, a highly unlikely circumstance.

Sandy Patterson’s hope is to bring Diana to Colorado under false pretenses, where she can admit to his boss what she has done and he can therefore keep his job. However, the plan is to have the police listen in, have Diana locked up, and for Sandy to continue his life, if only it were that easy!

Of course, Universal needed an interesting twist, but they took it too far. One person other than Sandy Patterson to be hunting down Diana would have sufficed. Two was a little much.

For a moment there is a time where the two enemies fight it out, a scene not only unnecessary but marred by extremely bad acting.

There are multiple car crashes, most with poor graphics, and a highly improbable outcome. But it’s like when a woman takes a shower in a horror movie, or runs into the woods instead of town; you know what is going to happen.

They get out unharmed and continue about their day; even the car is still running, pfffft!

Overall, “Identity Thief” is not what the trailers made it out to be. The few moments of humor are what were showcased in the trailers.

“Identity Thief” is filled with bad acting and lacks humor, don’t pay to see it in the movie theater and don’t even waste your time when it comes to DVD either.