Spring Eternal

Boy, did you feel that? That was a warm, spring breeze. Used to be it might start turning 60 degrees in mid-April if we were lucky.

Now it’s just past mid-March and we’re having 70- to 80-degree days. Don’t know where they’re coming from, maybe global warming, but hey, que sera, sera – I’m not going to waste these warm days worrying about the imminent demise of planet Earth. I’m at least not going to do it inside.

But here’s where we face a problem. And that problem is where we are: Johnson State College. This place does not throw fun at you. You gotta seek it out. Sometimes, you have to find it in yourself.

To make that hunt a little easier, I’ve compiled a list of offerings, ways one can take the maximum amount of fun from this beautiful, healing weather.

1. Go swimming. Who doesn’t love to swim? I know I do. I might as well be a fish. If you feel the same way, why not try Lower Pond? Except they drained that (where will Champ live?). There’s the on-campus pool, but that’s inside. Good luck working with their hours.

There is a river beneath the covered bridge. Go to it. It’s about three-feet deep and full of rocks, but if you’re really fortunate – and aren’t we fortunate, with this hopeful, blissful weather? – you can find a section of sand into which to insert your rump without fear of broken bottles or rusting Chef Boyardee cans. But I’m still sure people have peed in the water.

Note how I phrased that without indicting myself.

2. Go for a walk. I’ve been feeling a lack of exercise, man. I’ve been feeling it all winter. But now it’s March, in Vermont, so, inexplicably, it’s summer: time to get some exercise.

Take it slow and easy, like the spring breeze. Go for a walk. I wouldn’t recommend going down the hill, because it’s a bitch to get back up and if you pass the school during school hours they’ll give you looks that’ll make you want to dive off the covered bridge.

Don’t go into town. You’ll want to dive off the bridge even more. Especially now that, with spring’s arrival, construction is scheduled to resume.

Your best bet is to circle the campus. Cut across the quad for that extra dose of excitement.

3. Read a book. One of my favorite activities in this mortal coil is to find a dim streetlight with a bench underneath on a dark, warm summer night, and read a hardboiled detective novel.

But if you’re one of those weirdos who likes to read in broad daylight – I thought you guys were only legal in Brattleboro – there’s a great place to do so right by those E.T.-looking statues at the top of the hill, the one overlooking McClellan. Of course, students taking the hill route to class will give you shifty looks, and god help you if the frisbee players are nearby.

And they always are.

So have a great spring, kids!